Thursday, October 06, 2005

Who controls the television and how can I defeat them?

I know this will not be a hard post to agree with but in all honesty, I am tired of the damn commercials. We pay to receive the cable into our apartments, homes, or dormitories, but yet will still have to watch commercials. They are unavoidable. With the damn commercials why isn’t television free? I mean if in a half-hour show, I receive 10/15 minutes worth of commercials why in the hell do I have to pay anything? Perhaps the funniest thing about commercials to me is fact that these people (advertisers) think we give a shit. Frankly if I see another commercial that is suppose to make me feel like an athlete or like "I MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE!" I am just going to kill everyone. I don’t care if Levis are "For Everyday" or if Hanes are done her way. I just don’t care. Which brings me back to the title of this post who controls the commercials on television and what should we do to stop them?

1. Lets just kill them all. I can think of thousands of ways that will grab the advertising agencies attention by the balls. One of which is to just plain blow up a few buildings. Nothing says stop with the damn commercials like a mail-bomb.
2. Buy/Steal/Borrow, but ultimately watch more movies. Apparently movie theatres haven’t gotten the hint yet that people don’t want to pay 10 dollars to see a movie. But I swear to you, if we stop watching shit like Apprentice with Martha Stewart or Survivor. Someone will notice and cable television will start offering more HBO style entertainment. And no I don’t mean THE SEX INSPECTORS (which is on tonight at 11), I mean channels where you don’t get rapped by commercials and you just pay monthly.

If I know anything about business and God lets hope so, seeing as it is my major, if they notice a decrease in viewing numbers they will change shows quite often until they realize that we just cant take the 10 minutes worth of commercials, the damn interruptions every 5 minutes, the damn little ads before the beginning of the show, after the show, DURING the show. Yes, if you didn’t know, advertisers are planning to put more emphasize on getting their product time within the show; if you haven’t had enough of it already. Family Guy, one of my favorite shows, is a great example. "This is turning out worse than Stewie's IPOD commercial." Well, welcome to hell and greed is the only rule.

Eventually, TV will not revolve around the shows but the commercials. The shows will only be an aftermath. Writers will write 5 minute ads that feature a full story arc and this will occur sooner rather than later. The world will become more like the Super bowl than Survivor. We will all wait for the new Miller Lite commercial featuring the Refs that resemble the keystone cops, or maybe Underarm will start making five minute highlight reels of football players in underarm making spectacular(read: set-up) plays with a volley of rap music behind it. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy commercials(read: want to die) as much as the next person, but I am so sick of Red Bull telling me it will give me wings, while Maxi pads apparently have wings. Frogs are telling me to drink beer and beer is telling me to drive responsibly and frankly cars seem to be able to do anything and everything so why do I need to drive at all. The point that I believe is the most important to take away here is, this shit has to end somewhere and it should be now rather than later.