Thursday, December 22, 2005

Disclaimer: What is written below not based in facts, only that which I believe and my thoughts. I am not writing this to offend anyone and you can disagree with me or debate me in my comments as much as you would like.

Full Circle

There are two theories that guide this post:

1. God has granted us almost unlimited freedom.
2. For everything we can create; we can destroy.

The first theory is quite obviously self explanatory. I feel that God is not a blind parent but the parent that sees all and hears all but will stop us from enjoying the freedom that he has given us. I can run naked through the streets of Pittsburgh and God will not strike me down for public indecency. He may not like the sight and many of you would probably not enjoy that sight but the fact remains that I could do it with the freedom that is mine. He is not my conscience and is not going to single-handedly prevent me from doing something wrong just as he will not show me what is right. Both of which, unfortunately, limits my freedom. If I asked God to let me win the lottery and he grants me this, am I truly free? The second theory is a bit less explanatory. For everything to be created there is and will be a destruction of it. I believe that if I can build it I can destroy it. If I can destroy it, most likely I can build it back again. Ash to ash and dust to dust.

So what does this bring me to? This brings me to the combination of these theories. God has given us the ability to create and destroy almost anything within our realm of existence. Let me illustrate this belief. God has given us the means and the ability to create beautiful works of art, elaborate and lengthy works of language that expand our literary and intellectual boundaries, to create moving pieces of music. But this also means that just as easily or even easier we can ultimately destroy these masterpieces. Most rap music in my opinion destroys the English language with the help of an uncreative bass beat. As much as I may enjoy:

"Mothaf#ck@ what it is,
Eye'in me b$tch hoe @ss n$gger,
You just stepped up in some sh$t and You ready to duck quick,
Run mothaf#ck@ stay away from real Sh$t, B$tch n$gga might not like it"

I have trouble not feeling like such lyrics are an assault on the concepts of language. You know a clear and organized means of communication. I mean I’m not saying we all have to speak in perfect English. But lyrics should not systematically degrade people, cultures, or women; and certainly should be a result of some thought. To reiterate, I can throw paint against a canvas, scream obscenities to a beat, and easily bang a cowbell while kicking a bass drum but what am I accomplishing. I am not creating anything that’s new, inspired, or original; it’s just annoying. But along those same lines God has granted us the ability to create community; to create establishment; to create nuclear energy. Unfortunately with these wonderful gifts, we have the ability, the freedom, to destroy them just as well. To systematically cheat and steal; ultimately fucking each other over until we all do what we want for ourselves. We have the freedom to tear down establishment, by undermining trust, confidence, and effectively destroy all collaboration between people. We have the freedom to use a clean but volatile energy source as a city sized destroyer. Incinerating people, families, and everything in a ball of fire that leaves radiation as a semi-permanent reminder to those that survive. We have the power to destroy and create life. I am sure that science will allow us to artificially create life, clone, and alter DNA. Just as we have the power to dismember, drown, torture, blow up, burn, shoot, slice, and the million and one ways we have found to purge the life from each other’s bodies. My point to all this philosophical rhetoric is mainly to throw my ideas out there and out of my head. But it’s also a request to whoever reads this to think a little more about what you do, about what you don’t do, and why. We have the power to do almost anything in our lives. But should we? Should we clone, alter our DNA, and manufacture life? Do you want to destroy cities with a single button, kill each other, steal from each other, exploit one another, and hurt one another? Does it make sense to you to fuck each other over in this world for selfish pleasures? Think about it. Because the more I think; the less I like the way things are going on in the world.

Sunday, November 13, 2005


Didn’t you know, Its Christmas already!!!!!

Is it me or does Santa's fat ass start sitting in a chair at Ross Park Mall a little early each year? Do the Christmas specials seem to take place earlier each year, or is it just me? I mean yesterday I saw "Dr. Seuss's How the Grinch stole Christmas" on television. And don’t get me wrong it’s my favorite of all Christmas specials, but...IT’S NOVEMBER FUCKING 12th!! Does no one have any patience? Are we all little kids that shriek and yell at the first signs of Christmas? Can we all not wait until 20 days before Christmas before we play "Jingle Bells"? I am very distraught by the fact that every year it happens, earlier and earlier, like a plague it sweeps the stores, than the air waves. Before you know it your so sick of looking at Christmas stuff you start listening to other music, start tearing down the decorations, and get disgusted and open your presents which have been sitting there since Thanksgiving. I recently had the pleasure of being told by a polite sign that I only had 50 something shopping days till Christmas. I did some quick calculations, today, and here are my results:
1. 42 days until Christmas
2. 11 days until Thanksgiving
3. 25 days until Finals
4. The Steelers have 8 games left, 7 of which are before Christmas, one is today, the next is 7 days away, 15 days away, 21 days away, 28 days away, 35 days away, and 41 days away
5. 105 days until my Girlfriends Birthday
6. 289 days until my 21st Birthday
7. 407 days until next Christmas
8. 180849 days until the end of the world
9. And 99999999999999 days until I start caring how many shopping days left till Christmas.

I can’t stand the flagrant stupidity of people when Christmas is even 3 months away. My aunt and her boyfriend, both of whom I love dearly, are the most annoying people when it comes to this. At the beginning of October, Halloween decorations are placed in every facet of there house. On, November 1st at 1201AM, Christmas decorations begin to be placed in there house. Yes, that rights the fiber optic 18 inch trees on every table, the Santa Clause napkins, the Christmas lights, and the tree. All these decorations are firmly placed, positioned, and scruntized till perfection, so that they may be perfect for Thanksgiving. Yes that’s right, they are done decorating by Thanksgiving, right down to the talking, dancing, life-size, Santa Clause that has a microphone for singing karaoke. (Yes, I know the moment this post is placed, that rumors will spread of one of these in my house, and they are true. It was a gift from them to my family… We no longer shop very hard for their gift). My aunt's Christmas shopping for the holidays will probably be finished at the end of this weekend. I can not stand it; it’s disgusting and really takes away from Christmas for me. I enjoy the shopping for family, even though I have no idea what to get, but it’s the searching for them that makes me day. The rushing around, the spirit to which we all feel when we walk around the mall for 3 hours find nothing but know a bunch of things to get ourselves. I love Christmas for the turkey dinners, the evenings with family, the overall relaxing feeling that surrounds us all. I wish there was more relaxing and enjoying than the endless consumerism that surrounds a truly wonderful holiday. Make your holiday less about the money. Make it more about family and the joy that we all get from each other.




Thursday, October 06, 2005

Who controls the television and how can I defeat them?

I know this will not be a hard post to agree with but in all honesty, I am tired of the damn commercials. We pay to receive the cable into our apartments, homes, or dormitories, but yet will still have to watch commercials. They are unavoidable. With the damn commercials why isn’t television free? I mean if in a half-hour show, I receive 10/15 minutes worth of commercials why in the hell do I have to pay anything? Perhaps the funniest thing about commercials to me is fact that these people (advertisers) think we give a shit. Frankly if I see another commercial that is suppose to make me feel like an athlete or like "I MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE!" I am just going to kill everyone. I don’t care if Levis are "For Everyday" or if Hanes are done her way. I just don’t care. Which brings me back to the title of this post who controls the commercials on television and what should we do to stop them?

1. Lets just kill them all. I can think of thousands of ways that will grab the advertising agencies attention by the balls. One of which is to just plain blow up a few buildings. Nothing says stop with the damn commercials like a mail-bomb.
2. Buy/Steal/Borrow, but ultimately watch more movies. Apparently movie theatres haven’t gotten the hint yet that people don’t want to pay 10 dollars to see a movie. But I swear to you, if we stop watching shit like Apprentice with Martha Stewart or Survivor. Someone will notice and cable television will start offering more HBO style entertainment. And no I don’t mean THE SEX INSPECTORS (which is on tonight at 11), I mean channels where you don’t get rapped by commercials and you just pay monthly.

If I know anything about business and God lets hope so, seeing as it is my major, if they notice a decrease in viewing numbers they will change shows quite often until they realize that we just cant take the 10 minutes worth of commercials, the damn interruptions every 5 minutes, the damn little ads before the beginning of the show, after the show, DURING the show. Yes, if you didn’t know, advertisers are planning to put more emphasize on getting their product time within the show; if you haven’t had enough of it already. Family Guy, one of my favorite shows, is a great example. "This is turning out worse than Stewie's IPOD commercial." Well, welcome to hell and greed is the only rule.

Eventually, TV will not revolve around the shows but the commercials. The shows will only be an aftermath. Writers will write 5 minute ads that feature a full story arc and this will occur sooner rather than later. The world will become more like the Super bowl than Survivor. We will all wait for the new Miller Lite commercial featuring the Refs that resemble the keystone cops, or maybe Underarm will start making five minute highlight reels of football players in underarm making spectacular(read: set-up) plays with a volley of rap music behind it. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy commercials(read: want to die) as much as the next person, but I am so sick of Red Bull telling me it will give me wings, while Maxi pads apparently have wings. Frogs are telling me to drink beer and beer is telling me to drive responsibly and frankly cars seem to be able to do anything and everything so why do I need to drive at all. The point that I believe is the most important to take away here is, this shit has to end somewhere and it should be now rather than later.

Friday, September 23, 2005


It has been said that "bureaucracy is the price of freedom." Sometimes I agree and sometimes I complain that if it wasn’t for all the bullshit we might actually be able to get something done. Another phrase and this one I may or may not have made up, "It easy to complain but it’s much harder to make a solution." In essence, shut up or do something about it. So I have. I have created a few ways I would improve government. Don’t everyone thank me at once. But yeah, in all honesty these are things I truly believe need to be thought about in the hopes of saving sanity and well all semblance of democracy.

ELIMINATE ALL POLITICAL PARTIES.
I tend not to associate myself with any group because I don’t want people to judge me before they know me. I hate broad accusations about anyone or any group or any race. Just because some stereotypes happen to have some factional basis doesn’t mean they are gospel. I hate democrats and republicans, green peace and libertarians (although not too much), communists and socialists, anarchists and militarists. GO AWAY. The greatest president we ever had did not associate himself with a political party because he felt it would harm the nation. He is the same president who denied to become a king of our pitiful nation at the time. George Washington will forever be my idol because he was unselfish and didn’t give a damn what people thought of him. Yeah, he sucked in commanding while in Pittsburgh but it didn't stop him from being a hero for our nation. Political Parties are not within the constitution and have, in my opinion, castrated much of the separation of powers. The president creates legislation and his party in congress agrees without as much as a brief debate. That is utter Bullshit. Separation of Powers is exactly that. Separate. If everyone was looking out for the people they were elected to look out for, this crap wouldn’t happen. Yes that’s right. Senators and Congress-people help the state you were elected to represent. Do something other than sit next to each other saying Yeah and No. To whatever the other side of the isle says. And for you people who are appalled at the idea of no political party to root for, well tough luck. Pick a politician who has firm ideals and ideas for the future and back him. Actually observe the debates and not say, "Oh, he’s just not a good debater" I still like him. Figure out why and figure out who people are without having to hit the button that allows you to vote for all democrats/republicans because you didn’t bother to look over their credentials.

ELIMINATE POLITICAL CAMPAIGNS.
"Bill, if we have no political parties and no campaigns how are we to know who we are voting for???!!!?" O dear, did you get stricken deaf, dumb, and blind? O my, did god send bugs to eat away at your hands so that you can’t look up the election online or turn on PBS? There is no reason people need a so-called warchest to run for public office. That money could be better spent anywhere. We have public television where we can observe debates. We have the internet where candidates could write a paper title "ABOUT ME" or even have them answer online questions that people want to know. Is that so much to ask? I don’t need those fucking fliers all over the street. I don’t need those damn billboards telling me like I'm an infant child: "VOTE FOR JOE, HES NO POLITICAL HOE." Stop with the swift-boat veterans, stop with the extraneous information. "O, John Q. smoked a pack of cigarettes when he was 17. I can’t vote for him because I must follow my strict non-smoking platform" Yeah, well superficial is as a superficial does.

LEAVE LAWMAKING TO CONGRESS
Does anyone see a problem, with the executive branch making rules that they enforce? Anyone think that maybe we should leave rule-making to those elected by us? You know because we will be subjected to the rules. There are so many little piss-ant regulatory agencies that are under the control of the executive branch that we have essential placed the rule on the executive branch. The president seems to have the final word in many of the discussions that take place over: environmental issues, science-funding, and social issues. Can my elected officials please stop playing patty-cake with the political party buddies and cease some control over what’s happening. Can we stop giving money away and start using a fiscal policy that will help get rid of poverty, help increase the middle class, and stop making the rich, richer. Every time I get a pay-check, every time, I appreciate the fact that I have the opportunity to pay taxes. We all do it and why should I be upset about it. If it helps keep me safe or helps someone I don’t care. I would give up 40% to 50% of my check for the luxury of helping inter-city poverty or improve schools. Work is work and life is life. But not to stray from my original point, "party politics" or "votes along party lines" must stop. Law making should be done by elected officials and not regulatory bodies. Don’t get me wrong, regulatory agencies are needed, but they should be under the command of senators or committees, not the president or the president’s staff, or the secretary of whatever.

GET RID OF 99% of NEWS AGENCIES
Maybe I’m old fashioned but five 24h news channels along with four evening and night news channels is eight too many. I mean I enjoy watching the same story many many times but this sensationalism is ridiculous. Everything is the worst ever, or the best ever, or the most wild, or the most tragic. Stop it. Report the news, report all the news and stop picking and choosing what you think I want to watch. I want to hear about Katrina but has anyone noticed nothing is being said about Iraq. I want to hear about Roberts, but because he really can’t comment on anything he may preside over, so people are making huge assumptions. The judicial branch does not make law, see above. They apply the law to controversies. Roberts was asked, can the judicial branch do anything about the disaster in New Orleans. Want to know the answer? Guess.
A. We can allow lawsuits from citizens and anyone in the disaster against municipal and state govts.
B. We can not do anything; we are only here to interpret the law.
C. Instruct Congress on the appropriate statutes to enact to stop this from happening. Or.
D. What?

To conclude, die political parties, die yellow journalists with your big news corporations, and die political warchests and political campaigns. I don’t know when the next post will be but if you look at the dates of these you’ll find a pattern of cluelessness.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." That was a quote from Albert Einstein. Perhaps in response seeing the Hollywood and flagrant stupidity or maybe just at people in general. Either way, I'm sure he would very upset with them now. Captain Obvious explains it very nice in this article:


"I think people need a really strong reason to go to the movies and to pay the 10 bucks per person and to go out of the house and take that leap of faith"

Well I could have told you that. As a consumer I will not pay 9 bucks for a movie ticket, 3.50 for a bag of popcorn, over salted no less, 3.50 for a box of crunch-a-munch and 4.00 for a soda. 20.00!!!!! I could buy the movie in about 3 months for that much. Or better yet rent it for 3.99 or better yet ask my friends how bad it sucked and not bother watching it period. I mean can someone please come up with something original. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Bad News Bears, War of the Worlds, The Longest Yard, and House of Wax are all remakes that came out this summer. And there are a million that have just recycled ideas: Batman Begins (there are four other batman movies), The Cave(come on, how many movies are there with a dangerous creature in an enclosed space in which the heroes must survive), Transporter 2(need I say more), Stealth(man creates machine, machine kills man, how many times has this been done), Madagascar(fish out of water comedy, I can think of 2 instantly), Star Wars(5 others), Sky High(The Incredibles, only high school style), The Island(the dangers of advancement in technology), The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants(OK, NO), Herbie: Fully Loaded(definitely been done before), Deuce Bigelow(sequel), Cinderella Man(Million Dollar Baby, but true), Dukes of Hazzard(TV show), and Fantastic Four(stop with the damn comic book superheroes). Need I say anymore about why no one in there right mind would go see a movie.

TV has only been a problem too. This weekend I watched football. That’s it. Nothing else was interesting. I mean maybe if they could come up with another reality TV show. I don't think they have hit the bottle of the barrel yet. I have some ideas. Stick with me. We'll have men compete to be a sperm donor for a single woman who wants a kid. o wait thats already been done. How about one where five prostitutes start a cafe. Wait no, beat me on that one too(bottom). I got another, a show where criminals have the option of being executed or run an obstacle course with people trying to kill them along the way. If they survive they are set free, else death makes high quality television. O wait, That’s a damn movie. But I'm sure some reality TV producer is going to try it. Its sick the ideas that could be coming out, but it’s even sicker to think of what we (the viewers) have had to put up with. Anyone seen "Girls Next Door", "My Super Sweet 16", "Average Joe", "Fear Factor" or "Growing up Gotti", yeah I want to die too. I shouldn't have to be subjected to this and I shouldn't be left with college football as the alternative. I mean I could careless about USC vs. Hawaii, especially when USC is up 46 points in the fourth quarter. And no, I am not exaggerating. Anyway, I just really hope there are more episodes of Family Guy in the next 25 years cause the future isn't looking good.


UPDATE(9/8) : My greatest apologizes for publishing an unfinished work but I recently found two more articles that really just turn my stomach. In this one, it seems the writers of reality want more money for their efforts. Apparently reality isn't truly reality until they "sifting through hundreds of hours of footage to craft story lines." Not to be a downer or anything but if one must craft a story line is it really reality and on the same topic if you must edit reality to make it more interesting, obviously its a dumb non-interesting idea in the first place. Joe Millionaire is DUMB and STUPID. I wouldn't accept money to have someone write a show like that. And the other a look into more dumb shows that will premiere this fall. In this article, we get a look at a show that will wittles down potential comedies such as "The Sperm Donor", where a mother goes on a courages search for her daughters biological father(Sounds really funny, more like watching an episode of Maury) and "Stephen's Life", where a manipulative son convinces his mom to enroll in big schemes (the title of this should be, How Hard Would You Hit Your Child if He acted like this). Anyway I thought these deserved to be placed into how dumb television is.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Many of you will be very surprised to see a blog from me. While I have been stating an extreme dislike of blogs from the very beginning. Well, I have my reasons and, yes, I will explain them. But first my dislikes of blogs:

1. My life and just about everyone else’s, does not require a webpage for me to explain what I have been doing. If people did want to know what I have been doing, guess what they would do? Ask me. The information age has been very kind to all of us. Cell Phones and chat systems for everyone!!!! Well use them. Enjoy it. And be glad when the response that follows "sup" is "nm". By the way, just a few moments to explain my picture. I hate you msn messenger. You are on every computer in the world and you are the hardest program to get rid of. I will never stop in my hunt to delete you from every computer I touch.
2. If you’re reading this far, congratulations you've made it further than I have in anyone else's blog. No offense to any of you that have them. But my writing is far below that of the Pittsburgh Post Gazette, the NY Times, or even CNN.COM. And frankly I haven't found anything interesting in those to read so why in the world would I read about people's lives when I could just call them or IM then.
3. The last reason I despise blogs is that they are so unoriginal. The first blog, I can think of, was written by Maddox. Yes, you know the infamous Maddox, who writes very graphic articles on his website that range from a pro-abortion, and no I don't mean pro-life, to anti-vegetarian. His articles are very funny, offensive, and original. It’s funny and original for him to have a blog based on making fun of people and lashing out at the social quirks of society. It is not funny however, to have every TOM, DICK, and HARRY writing their everyday misadventures. "Today I went to the mall and found a cute red shirt. But I didn't buy it because I know a friend of mine has one similar." Great and I'll never have those thirty seconds of my life back.

So there you have it; my reasons for hating blogs, or at least, why I don’t like them. Then why did I write this blog? Good question. Here are those reasons.

1. For one thing, I have a place to write some of my bizarre theories and/or opinions and maybe have a few people read them. It gives me something to talk about and something maybe to research for. I am refusing to let this divulge into "what I did today" or "what I did this weekend rocked". I will write something interesting or I won't write. Plain, simple, economic.
2. It gives me a place to rant and rave to thing that really upset me. For, instance, I have already voiced my displeasure in the so called info age. Well F*** every one of you with a cell phone that drive in front of me. Pay attention, respect the right of way, and please turn off the phone. Call them when you get where you’re going, call them from along side the road. And if none of those apply at least drive normally. I admit, I have talked on the phone while driving. But I have never let it affect my driving. I have never, for instance, driven 20 mph below the speed limit or kept my turn signal on for three minutes. PAY ATTENTION and stop increasing my insurance rates.

So anyway, I think I've gotten what I've wanted out of the post. Enjoy it. Cause I don't know when the next shall be.